Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
