im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
