Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize