let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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