let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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