Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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