i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize