He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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