was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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