I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
