I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
