Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
