He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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