I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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