I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
