I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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