She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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