she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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