No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
