plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think a kid would responsible me up
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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