I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
