Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
