no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
