Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
