ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
