Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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