I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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