p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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