what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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