my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize