he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
