Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
