I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
im holly from the hills drunk
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
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