You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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