I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
