so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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