saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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