Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
