Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
