We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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