gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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