used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize