My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
