I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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