dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
