When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
