WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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