i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
