you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
