It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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