even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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