Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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