you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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