when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
