had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
