you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
