you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
