Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
okay pat passed out under dana's car
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
