What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
