Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
