I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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