i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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