I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
