In the future we'll all be gay
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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