Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
