I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
