Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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