I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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