I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
