Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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