I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just pee around me
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
