The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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