They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
