My room smells like vodka and shame
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
