You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
