you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
