What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize