I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I didn't notice because vodka
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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