well I can't set my house on fire every night
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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