It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
