I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
