Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
A+ Viking dick
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
