She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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