have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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